


i saw you first (it was in a dream)

by pendules



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Office, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-26
Updated: 2011-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendules/pseuds/pendules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean Winchester is very Dean Smith, Sam has a weird dream, and Dean and Cas don't fight ghosts but do a lot of other more extraordinary things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i saw you first (it was in a dream)

Sam calls unexpectedly in the middle of the night.

"Ugh, Sammy, I know you're probably hopped up on caffeine and devouring law textbooks but it's 3am over here. Can we talk in the morning?"

"No! Dean! Don't hang up. It's important."

Dean suddenly grows concerned.

"Hey, you alright? Is Jess alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're both fine. I just...I just had this _really_ weird dream."

*

When Dean wakes up at 6am (after a measly hour of sleep), he's still thinking about the insanely detailed description of Sam's dream he'd gotten, about demons and monsters and angels and the freaking Devil... He's thinking about hell, and heaven, and losing his home, his parents, losing _Sam_. He wonders what brought it on. He wonders if it's the universe's strange way of telling them they're drifting apart. He's suddenly really glad that Thanksgiving break is coming up soon. He decides that for the whole time he's at his parents' house, he won't think about work or get too anxious to be back in Ohio, to get back into his routine, his diet, his tailored suits. He's just going to enjoy it, and relax, the way he hasn't in a long while, not since he graduated and moved away from home. He owes it his parents, to Sam, to himself.

He stares at himself in mirror while he's brushing his teeth, sees the tired lines in his face (almost invisible to anyone else but so obvious to him). He likes his life, he likes his job too much maybe (as he's reminded every time his mum calls and worriedly makes him promise to get enough rest), but he's always felt he needed to work harder than everyone else, to be good enough, to come up to a standard he was always unsure he'd ever reach. To make his parents proud, to deserve his brother's admiration. He's always been too hard on himself, he knows that. And his dad doesn't miss an occasion to remind him of it too, before telling him how proud they are. He's starting to really believe it. He's starting to be content. There's still a piece missing though, and it nags at him sometimes (at 5am when he's awake before his alarm goes off, or late at night when he's at the office, taking a five minute break and gazing out his window), but he doesn't know what it is.

Maybe he'll know it when it happens. If it ever does.

*

Dean's never been one for cooler talk. He's always business first, and everyone knows that, but they're not intimidated or anything because Dean may be a workaholic, but he's also sociable and charming and easy-going (actually, that's the _reason_ why he's so good at his job). He may comment on the game or whatever other noteworthy event after business meetings or briefs, but it doesn't often go further than that.

So he kind of really doesn't know why he blurts out, "Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Sorry?"

The new guy, like most accountants he's come across, seems like he doesn't go outside much, like he's kind of surprised by mundane things that happen in the real world. Dean's bizarre question might just be too much for him. But his expression shifts from surprise to thoughtfulness rather quickly.

"Um, do you think you have a haunting?"

It dissolves into a game weirdly easily after that.

"If I do, would you help me with it?"

"Yeah, I'm a Ghostbuster in training, you know." His straight face is almost too much for Dean to bear. He lets out a bark of a laugh, and the new guy (he really should find out his name) cracks a tiny smile.

It's weird, Dean thinks. It almost feels like flirting or something. Flirting for weird nerds who spend too much time in dusty, claustrophobic offices and don't get enough sunlight.

"I'm Dean," he says, sticking out his hand, because he definitely wants to be on a first name basis with this guy.

"Um, Castiel," he says taking Dean's hand. (He lets go regrettably quickly.)

And because Dean likes making people feel comfortable (it's his job), he says, "Nice to meet you, Cas," and gives him his best smile.

Cas kind of ducks his head and smiles, soft and shy.

And Dean thinks, _Fuck, I am so screwed._

*

The thing is, Dean hasn't dated since college. It's not that he hasn't wanted to, but he just hasn't put a lot of effort into actively seeking someone out. He's busy anyway, he tells himself. He'd be a horrible boyfriend right now. He's focusing on his career. Everything else will come after. His mother's stopped asking if he's seeing anyone. Sam tries to pry subtly, but there's simply nothing to tell. He's never even told them that he'd probably be into guys too, maybe. He's never had occasion, never had a boyfriend, and he didn't think it was a big deal anyway. It just kind of happened, just became apparent to him one day and he realised that it was obvious all along, really, he just hadn't been paying attention. There was one guy, in college, but it didn't last long, wasn't worth mentioning.

Cas, though, is something else.

*

The next time he sees him, he brightens up. "So, have you sorted out that problem?"

"Oh, it wasn't for me. It was a friend."

Cas laughs. But then he gets serious.

"Why were you asking anyway?"

"I — it was just something my brother was telling me about. He had this weird dream."

"About ghosts?"

"Yeah, and other things. He said it was, like, intensely vivid. Different from any other dream he's ever had."

"Do you?" Dean suspects he's one of those people who say things out of context, like he's expecting you to keep up with his own silent train of thought. Sammy does that sometimes, he thinks fondly.

"Do I what?"

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"I don't know. I guess you'd have to believe in some kind of afterlife, right? And I'm not so sure."

"Not religious, I take it?"

"No, not really. My mum is. But not my dad."

"You talk about your family a lot."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, not at all. It's just that most people I've ever worked with...they kind of forget where they came from, you know?"

"Yeah, I get you." Dean knows that all too well. He can't imagine that ever happening to him though. He may not be able to stay in touch with them as much as he'd like to these days, but they're still the one constant in his life. "What about you? What's your family like?"

"Huge. And traditional. And strict. I'm the youngest, so I feel like everything I've done has been done already, you know? Somewhere along the way, I just stopped trying."

"You're doing pretty well though. I mean, uh, as far as I can see." Dean can feel himself going red inexplicably.

"So are you," Cas replies smoothly.

"Yeah..."

"So, um, I should go. Tell your brother sorry I couldn't help with the ghost problem."

"Yeah, I'll see you, Cas."

*

They end up grabbing lunch together the rest of the week, Dean awkwardly giving him tips about the neighbourhood and their co-workers and telling him about his time at the company. Cas doesn't say much, but looks almost unbelievably interested in everything he says.

"Sorry, I'm rambling," Dean says for the hundredth time, and fuck him, he's actually blushing.

"No, that's okay. I can tell how much you care about him. And Jess sounds really great."

"Yeah, man, Sam's one hell of a lucky bastard."

"So, uh, what about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

Dean almost chokes on his forkful of salad.

"No, no, I'm not," he says, as quickly as he can, once he remembers how to swallow properly.

"Oh, that's, well. I know how it is. Relationships take a lot of energy." He looks like he's trying to shake away bad memories.

"Bad break-up?" Dean asks softly, and it's kind of ridiculous how well he can read Cas's moods already.

"Um, yeah. It was right after I came here. It was...messy. Getting away was just what I needed."

"I'm sorry. How long had you been together?"

"Three years."

"Wow. That's — I can't even imagine."

"It was the first really serious relationship I've ever been in, so I guess it'll take some getting over."

"I've never even had a really bad break-up. I guess it must really, really suck."

Cas gives a slightly pained laugh.

"Yeah, it does."

"I'm not making this any better, am I?"

"Nope."

"I really am sorry."

"Thank you, Dean." It's so earnest, Dean's heart kind of breaks for him.

*

"It's not my birthday," Cas says in his trademark monotone.

"I thought you could use a pick-me-up," Dean says, clapping him on the back, and giving him a slice of the cake that's being cut and passed around.

"I have work to do, Dean," he says, frowning.

"So I do. We all do. But it's a special occasion."

"No, it's not."

"Quit arguing and enjoy your party."

Cas sighs, but he lightens up considerably after that.

*

They're sitting in Dean's office after, Dean typing up his last bit of work for the day, Cas just staring at him over the desk.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Hmm?" he says, looking up distractedly.

"Why'd you do that for me?"

"I don't know."

"Come on. Don't give me that BS."

Dean huffs a sigh, stops typing.

"Okay. I did it because I like you."

"What?"

"I'm not repeating it."

"What does that even mean?" He looks more amused than Dean's ever seen him.

"I don't know what it means. But there it is."

"God, you're such a child."

"You don't even _know_ me."

"I know that you're a ridiculous teenage boy who can't deal with things in a grown-up way." His grin is making Dean uncomfortable now. "Grand gestures don't work in the real world, Dean."

"It wasn't a 'grand gesture.' It was a cake."

"You interrupted work. You interrupted _your_ work. That's a grand gesture."

"If it didn't work, then why are you here lecturing me?" Dean snaps, looking directly at him.

"Because...because maybe it _did_ work."

Cas is going red now, averting his eyes, which renders anything he's said about Dean being a teenage boy utterly invalid.

Dean just stares at him for a while.

"I, uh, I think you need to know some things. About me."

"Dean, really? Right now?" His eyebrows are raised, and it's kind of wonderful how quickly he changes from shy, nerdy accountant Cas to irritable, assertive (okay, sexy) Cas.

"Just...just listen, okay. Please. I haven't done this a lot."

"Okay. Go on."

"I work fourteen hours a day. When I'm not working, I'm in bed, and I don't like being disturbed, no matter what I'm doing, whether it's sleeping or catching up on _Project Runway_. And yes, I have terrible taste in TV shows. You can do your worst to convert me to less objectionable things, but it's almost guaranteed to fail. I have crazy OCD. I'm a health nut, and nothing makes me break my diet (unless, of course, it's a special occasion like your fake birthday party) or cuts into my workout time. I can be stubborn and selfish and downright unbearable sometimes. I like being alone. But —"

"But what?"

"Do you want to come over tonight?"

"Are we going to watch _Project Runway_?" Cas deadpans.

"No, but we could watch _Ghostbusters_."

"Okay. Deal."

Actually, they don't watch either.

*

Dean spends a week deciding how to ask him. In the end, he realises he has to just be direct with him about it, like he has with everything else. Like they've been doing for the last few weeks.

When he wakes up, Cas is reading next to him, glasses slipping down his nose. He kind of doesn't know how he managed before he woke up to that.

"So, I don't know if this is weird or too soon or..."

"I don't think there's anything weird about you I haven't found out yet," Cas points out.

"Do you want to come home with me for Thanksgiving? I mean, I know you must have your own plans and your own stuff but —"

"Dean, stop. I'd love to."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'd love to meet your family."

"They're kind of dying to meet you too, to be honest. Probably just to make sure you're not imaginary, but..."

"So, I don't know if this is weird or too soon or..." Cas starts abruptly.

"Yeah, it probably is," Dean teases.

"I kind of love you, Dean Winchester."

Dean honestly doesn't know how to react, so he just kisses him instead. It does the trick.


End file.
